|Goodbye MCRmy - Part Two (Finale)
||[Sep. 8th, 2007|05:10 pm]
First of all, I would like to thank you guys for the intelligent comments, agreeing or disagreeing. That’s said, let me talk -for the last time- about why I'm leaving this.|
-I am 22 years old. Since I was twelve I gave up on dreaming about celebrities. In my twelves it was okay to worship LeonardoDiCaprio on my wall. But i’m not the type who put people in pedestals anymore, naturally.
-I work, i study and travel everyday and it takes me hours, which means that its not like i stay at home writing love letters to boys I barely know offstage and wondering how gerard can be so hot.
-As I work with music industry and i am into this since i was a kid (my father is a drummer) i know one thing or two about how things work and how things are fucked up sometimes.
–Personal behavior always influence bands. You cant separate them both. That’s why good and not-so-good bands came to an end. Ego is a powerful thing. If some vocalist is a nazy, or treat women like trash or is prejudiced or republican (just kidding on last one!) you cant second that even if he makes good music. What he thinks about the world and the way he lives is absolutely tight to the music he made.
–I understand Gerard’s behavior sometimes, which does not mean that i second him. As a plain fan, i get tired of sing the same songs sometimes. Can you imagine sing the same songs gazzilion times a year for years? You could be tired, not big deal. What you do next is the main thing: you evolve and do something bigger or you let the rock’n roll life or you turn yourself into an Axl Rose pastiche.
-I am diferent of the person i was two years ago. Gerard is 30 years old now and maybe he rather to pick a woman (the first one he find? Doesnt matter) and raise kids even if he said the opposite years ago, because people change, thats not wrong with that. Not everybody is like Keith Richards or Mick Jagger going to the grave at 300 years old and keeping the music alive.
–As I said before, you cant deta ch lyrics from composers. I used to love Bright Eyes because Conor Oberst was real, his pain was so real as mine and we were connected in some way. Belle & Sebastian, The Verve, Nirvana, Radiohead, Lou Reed... all this dudes wrote music who meant something because it was real. I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love was real. If you only listen to pop music this means nothing because lyrics about umbrellas and ‘big girls who does not cry’ are just make to sell more records, and to have a good time of alienation. This is not wrong, also. But I dont fit in this kind of music and i like to listen sincere songs.
–Working, i have learnt some tricks to recognise what is fake and what is feeling. Hug a hamster’s cage was feeling. ‘Very much alive’ and ‘my oh so wonderful girl’ are fake.
–Just because he is a 30 old man this do not explain some changes. You dont have to be a teenie or an emo to write about real feelings. Jim Morrison, Jeff Buckley and Elliot Smith are some examples.
-Alteregos can drive you nuts. It happened to David Bowie for instance. When you wear a character and start acting onstage you can make things you dont do usually. The same happens when you are drunk. In vino veritas, remember? It is freudian. In fact, you are being more real than ever behind the mask.
-I am not a nun or a saint to said: ‘oh, i am leaving gerard because he is drinking again’. I am not the healthy type and i used to drink a lot. You drink when you are so miserable that you can stand sober. It was cider on ‘wedding day’? Yeah, but i am talking about puking onstage (camden 25/09), about changing your moods and turn into an unknow person. It is the saddest thing, and i said by myself. You dont have to drink when things are wonderfull. A lot of people saw bottles of gin on their bus. ‘Oh, but he has the band to support him.’ So what? What the others can do? Nothing. When you are lost and you dont wanna be rescue its hard for others to change your mind. So hard that sometimes people just give up. Dont you guys remember Japan touring? They loved and cared about gerard but he was lost and drinking and no one could do nothing. Lyn Z and MSI are know for being crazy kids, for booze and stuff. I dont think someone with this credentials can help at all. I hope she can.
-Anyway, being a mychem fan was so great. It started with sadness. The band talking what i felt. But soon i was understanding the lyrics in a greater way and i know its cliche but those lyrics from Famous Last Words meant so much when i was living my worst times. But look what is happening now: fans hating each other, telling to shut up, being rude... the band was supposed to save lifes. The fans were supposed to be more supportive and not haters about every sentence.
-Someone misunderstood me completely:
“Your post has proved that most "fans" like you only care about the one person in the band - Gerard, when really there are actually FOUR other guys and it should be about the MUSIC anyway. And this is why I am completely lost and bewildered as to how you have called others"fangirls and teenies". If you were EVER a real fan it would be about the music, not only particular members of the band.”
The thing is: MyChem is a band. It’s a team. If one member is lost and strange, everything would lose the balance. Thats why i’m worried and pissed off. Because gerard dont give a fuck about where his behaviour is carrying every member of My Chem. Because i care about frank, ray and bob (should i consider mikey still?). Thankfully Frank have Leathermout, a kickass band.
–I’m not saying LynZ is the Yoko. Because Lennon loved Yoko so much he would exchange anything by staying on her side. Because Yoko was more important than money, fame and even music and Yoko made John happy since the day they met each other. LynZ dont have this importance. She is just another girl on this game.
–The Black Parade is one of the prettiest albuns i ever heard in my entire life. I wrote a book about this, who is set to release next week, in my country, and now im embarrassed about written because things are not like the way it were. Try to make someone, who dont like or dont know the band, understand that Gerard was not like that. It is hard. Still, the album is amazing.
–Funny someone comment on last post: “Kurt Cobain was overrated...instrumentally. He just used power chords. *shrugs*” But honey, the grunge movement was like the punk movement: feeling instead complicated chords. Kurt felt he had to scream and fuck the guitar and he did. It was about pain and feeling.
-“ I do not agree that we should abandon them in the time they need us most. You cannot think that people are going to be exactly what you want them to be all the time, they are going to do things wrong that does not live up to what you think they can be, nobody is going to be perfect in everything they do.”
This is so beautiful as utopian. I live miles away from this band, they never notice my existence and so on. Parents and friens should do this and i am certain they are doing.
–I am not giving upon music. I write about new bands every day and this is what makes me happy. There are just a few of true bands and there are many ‘lets have fun’ bands but i didnt find no one like My Chem or Bright Eyes or Death Cab. Maybe things are changing. Maybe music is now about making money and hiding you trully feelings. But maybe things will change again. I am waiting. Quietly, on my own, but waiting.
- Im very sorry about eventually misspells and grammar errors. English is not my native language but i needed get this out of my chest
. Peace to all of you, soldiers. Try dont let your general fall off.